There are so many things I wish I could help you through and so many words I wish I could say that would give you an understanding of everything you are about to endure. I want to tell you that it is okay to cry, to yell, and be upset. It is okay to feel things so strongly that you want to burst. It is normal to have doubt and worry but it should never fully consume your heart.
God will always come through wither you see it or not. Sometimes you won’t see anything but you will feel it.
Your heart will warm, your anger will subside, and calmness will take over. This is God working on your heart. He has helped more than words can describe, with everything you will ever go encounter.
You will grow into a better person. It will take some time. A lot of time actually, to accept what needs to be changed in yourself and to actually achieve it. You will learn so much that you never expected. You will see how ‘imperfect’ your life has always been and you will learn to accept the imperfections in yourself and your life. There will be much insecurity and fear in yourself that will be in need of restoration. You will learn the concept of friendship. That your pain is not as bad as it seems. That your head is not full of daydreams but future goals.
Do not be afraid of what you have to offer the world. Whatever it is, if it was what you pictured for yourself or not, it will be worth it. Worth the hours of school, the money spent, the time given up.
I am excited for your future Kendra. It will be bright and full of love and adventure; of that I am positive!
Your Older Self