Doubt

I come writing this in a insomnia state i.e. my life.

It has been a week since posting last, which ironically is about God teaching me something through daily struggles.

A lot has happened.
1. I got a job, and very quickly I might add.
2. Said job has been great except for the fact that my foot having been previously causing me trouble is starting to rear its ugly head.

3. Retook my CNA state boards on 2.14.15

4. Had a breakdown in my car- nbd.

5. I have seen a good friend almost all week after not speaking for a while.

My attitude this past week has been a range of gratefulness and doubt with the Lord. I hate the times when I feel myself loose faith in Him and allow doubt to set in. It makes me feel weak emotionally and kind of like I am betraying the one stable in my life.
I suppose it is natural.
Doubt.
Not only in faith but in yourself, or perhaps in the people around you. It is a sneaky thing. Creeping up in the back of your mind. It can very well take control of your thoughts and actions if it is not controlled.

I am speaking as if it is a wild animal.
But then again, maybe it is. Maybe if we treat it as such we would be more cautious of it. Because doubt can be the end of you. It can be the end of your dreams, your hopes, your faith, your relationships.

It unnerves me that this feeling of doubt has settled into my thinking in merely a week. I went from optimistic to defeat in seven days.

They say the first step to recovery is to admit it. So, there you go.

2.15.15

Thank You and God Bless.

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